A new start in America

Life in America......is big and exciting and pretty scary.  So many things to experience for the first time.
Coming home with a 9 year old from orphanage life is sort of like coming home with a toddler, except they are taller and able to undo the childproof locks.  The same curiosity is there.  There are so many things she has not experienced and so much she wants to touch, feel, SMELL, etc.  She smells everything and everyone.  It is part of discovering her new world.  She had no concept of "hot", or "sharp", so we have experienced some of this in the kitchen, but fortunately nothing too bad.

While we were in Bulgaria, our friend Maureen totally decorated Monika's bedroom.  The first thing Monika had to say about that is that now she is a princess.

Sitting on her bed with her girly pajamas and princess crown.

More of her bedroom with "M" for Monika, the lighted flower lights and mirror.  She loves her room and loves having the mirror to admire herself after she gets dressed each day.

She loves spending time with grandma & grandpa.

Her new bike!

Did I say this kid could eat ??? I really have never seen anything like it.  She LOVES food.  She has gained 10 pounds since leaving the hospital and still is only on the 5th percentile for weight and BMI, on the 25th percentile for height.  She does not care for American fast food......could totally live without hamburgers, fries, chicken nuggets and macaroni.  But LOVES salad, vegetables meat, and will eat an adult sized serving of pretty much everything.  She is not crazy about most sweets but does like some chocolate here and there.  

This is a picture of a salad made by Monika.  I let her put whatever she wanted in it.  She had lettuce, cucumber, tomato, onion, peas, corn, olives, egg, and feta.  Yes.....she did eat the whole thing then ate all of her dinner.

Two weeks of "firsts"

Monika left orphan life exactly 2 weeks ago today. Every day is new and exciting and sometimes a bit scary.  She changed tremendously from the time I saw her in December 2012 to our pick up date of June 28, 2013.  In the "baby house" her communication was limited due in part to being with all younger kids.  Her conversational language has exploded.  She has no problem saying what she wants/ needs/ likes/ dislikes......the bigger problem is mama understanding what she is saying.  She is a pretty happy kid and will try anything once.

On pick up day, she had a new experience of leaving behind the familiar orphanage surroundings and people and going into the unknown.  It was very scary for her and she clung to me for comfort.  She also saw pigeons on the sidewalks and was pretty freaked out that they would come after her.  She is so brave.  It really just took some calm talking a hugs to get her past these new experiences.  She really can be quite a little character, laughing at herself as well as anyone or anything else she finds amusing.
In restaurants in Bulgaria she talked confidently with waiters in Bulgarian and they all laughed at the things she would divulge to them.  We had no way of knowing if this was a good or bad thing. but we were happy that she was happy.  In the orphanage, she was still taking a nap every afternoon.  Since I was sharing a bed with her in the apartment, I would lay down with her and she would reach over and hold my hand and put her forehead against mine to fall asleep each time.  She slept really well.  Now that we are back in America we are trying to find out what works for us here.  She is having a harder time sleeping and staying asleep in this new environment.

It was obvious in Bulgaria that she had a pretty strong fear of all animals.  In my house there are 2 dogs, a cat and a parrot.  That was a pretty much what we had to concentrate on the first couple of days.  Since my service dog is by my side 24/7, she had to adjust.  She has come a long way and will pet him without prompting now.  However, she is very upset if her touches her with his nose or licks her.  They are both learning to adjust.  Rex is great and is going at her pace.

First trip to mall in Bulgaria there was the mechanical car that kids sit in and the car moves when you put in a coin.  She sat in the car and loved it, but them when we put the coin in, her first reaction was panic, then once she realized it was not going to take her anywhere, she laughed hysterically.  It was so much fun to her!

Many new foods to try.  She is a wonderful eater, preferring veggies, legumes & salad over most other foods.  She loves Shopska salad (cucumbers, onion and tomatoes), not crazy about bread but will eat it.  She refused olives, fruit smoothy and choc cake after first trying them.  She fits right in here at our little farm as she will eat everything we grow.

Favorite time of day is definitely eating followed by taking a shower.  She asks every day if she will be able to take a shower today......this cracks me up!

She is SOOOOO affectionate.  Hugging and kissing me all day long.  Smiling at me constantly.  She does show affection to others also, but does seem to have some boundaries in the levels of affection she shows to others.  She fell in love with Grandma at first sight and is very comfortable around her and grandpa.

She is a home body.  I have only taken her out a few times.....to Dr Office, to Grandma's house, to pick up my meds, and SS office.  She definitely is nervous and overstimulated going out.  So for now, we are trying to keep things simple, until she is used to her environment.

Well,she is kissing me and wanting attention now, so guess that is it for this writing.

Near our apartment in a restaurant with traditional Bulgarian food and dancers.

In the apartment trying on glow in the dark glasses.

In the apartment wearing another outfit from her big sister.

On the plane (before the big freak out moment when the engines came on)

Charlotte NC, a new American Citizen on July 4th, 2013 !!

Emergency Surgery and the week in Sofia

Leaving the hospital in Burgas and returning to Sofia is one of the hardest things I have ever done. There were valid reasons that I had to do this, but it felt so wrong leaving her.  The hospital is not like what I am used to here.  It had no A/C and very little nursing staff.  The orphanage director took it upon herself to pay orphanage staff workers to be by Monika's side 24/7.  The room was pretty bare.  There were no chairs for staff or visitors, so the staff workers had to stand the entire shift next to her bed trying to do whatever it took to make her comfortable.  They fanned her with paper to cool her off, talked softly to her and rubbed or patted her back.  They were incredibly patient and loving to her.  I did feel like they would be there for her as I returned to Sofia.

I did not know when I left Monday that around an hour after I left, she would face a life threatening seizure.  She went into seizure due to the pressure of the fluid in the brain and did not come out of the seizure, so they put her under anesthesia and made the decision to do emergency shunt replacement.  I was told that the surgeon and his fast acting saved her life that night.

I was told that I would need to stay in Sofia rather than return to Burgas.  Partly because Monika was in ICU and could have no visitors, and partly because my presence was making her to excited/nervous and she was not resting well with me there.  We were able to see a few sights in Sofia that week.  I was not really in the mood for sight seeing when I knew my little girl was sick in the hospital, but also knew that staying in the apartment 24/7 was not a good thing.  I do have to say, the food in Bulgaria is the best food I have experienced anywhere and was very fresh.  The salads were great, the cheese saurces were to die for.  I want to try to replicate some of these recipes when things calm down a little.

So, I spent the rest of the week in Sofia with daily updates of Monika's progress.  The shunt replacement was a success and she was recovering well.  On Wednesday evening, I received word that the neurosurgeon said I could check her out of the hospital on Friday.  Friday morning, we had to leave at 4:30AM in order to get to Burgas in time for check out. When we got there, it was so shocking to see Monika skip down the hallway to give me hugs and kisses.  I would never have dreamed she could make such a quick recovery and am so thankful to those who prayed for this to happen.  I had a meeting with the neurosurgeon and interpreter, explaining the surgery and what precautions I should take.  She basically could eat anything she wanted, just better to stay out of the sun to keep from being overheated and do calm indoor activities until we had clearance from her US doctor.  I also met at the hospital with the orphanage director to sign over all necessary custody papers.

Mrs Vitanova (orphanage director) & "Kilinka" with Monika checking out of hospital.  These two women showed extraordinary love and care for my little girl when she could not take care of herself.  The hospital was a harsh environment.  No A/C and no modern devices or machines hooked up to show a patient needed help.  They literally stood by Monika's side (there were no chairs) in that hot room and fanned her to try to keep her cool and comfortable.  One of the hospital workers was really rude to them, seems like she thought an orphan wasn't worth the effort and their being there was making her go to extra effort in her care.  I will always be thankful for these women.  There was no money in the budget to hire a private nurse and with no family, Monika would have been left alone in a bed and would not have survived the ordeal.

Karen (left) Monika & I (right) saying goodbye to the orphanage workers that came to say good bye to Monika.  They each had a small gift for Monika.  They also let her leave in the orphanage clothes and shoes she was dressed in that morning and packed a bag with several outfits a chocolate fruit cake and bananas for her to snack on.  They cried as we drove off.  I truly think they cared for Monika and will miss her, but were also happy she had a family now.

Kids from the orphanage had requested to come say good bye to Monika, but it was decided that would be too much emotional excitement for her to handle.  The director and 3 of the orphanage staff came to see her off.  They each gave her a gift.  She got a shirt and hat that said Burgas, a talking book, Bulgarian magnets, homemade chocolate/orange cake, large milka candy bar.  They also sent her with 3 outfits and a pair of shoes.  All the gifts I had left on the previous trip along with those I mailed to her, were all packed for her to take home.  It was so obvious the staff loved her and cared for her.  They were all crying as we said our good byes. Karen and I cried too.  Monika seemed confused by all the commotion.

Our driver/ interpreter was great with Monika.  He explained that if she felt sick or strange at any time, to let him know and he would pull the car over.  That happened 3 times in the first 30 minutes.  The last time she just cried her heart out, wanting to know if she would ever again see her friends.  She was so frightened of what lay ahead and the fear was just overtaking her.  I asked if she could sit in my lap, she jumped at that chance and just clung to my neck like she would never let go.  Her whole body was shaking in fear but she stopped crying.  3 hours into the trip, she finally fell asleep.  We had to go straight to the Bulgarian police immigration office on Friday when we arrived in Sofia for her to get her Bulgarian passport.  On the way into the office there was  a pigeon on the side walk, she was very afraid of the birds.  It seemed she had never seen one before.  Other than that, all went smoothly and we got back to the apartment to spend our first evening and night together as family.

Picture of Monika and I in the car on the way to Sofia on Gotcha Day.

Self portrait taken by Monika when she was playing with my iPhone at a gas stop on the way to Sofia on Gotcha Day.

Picture of Monika coloring in our apartment in Sofia.  This shows how her head was shaved for her emergency surgery.  They ended up not cutting the head.  She had two surgical incisions, one on her neck and the other on her stomach.

Saturday and Sunday were just days to relax and get to know each other.  Monday was the day for the

doctor check up required for her American VISA.  That went well.  Tuesday we had our "interview" with the Embassy.  We were able to get tickets to fly to USA on July 4th.  Monika would become an American Citizen on the day we celebrate American freedom and Independence.

Pick up day......NOT

The starfish is sitting next to me eating cookies.  7 days ago I could not even imagine that.  God is good and answers the many prayers of His people.

My friend Karen came on this pick up trip with me and I have to say the trip itself was free of complications, just long as always.  We stopped in Canada and ate cheese burgers and fries.  Next stop was Frankfort Germany where we had Bratwurst.  Got to Sofia in the afternoon in time to have an evening meal at a little restaurant nearby.....Schnitzel.  It was Sunday and we were scheduled to be picked up by a taxi with our interpreter to fly to Burgas pick Monika up and bring her to Sofia.  We did not know we were going to have a complicated day.  On the way to the airport, we were told that Monika had been very sick and in the hospital since Friday (4 days).  A few minutes later, one of us started become panicked when she realized she had no idea where her passport and money bag was.  U-turn by taxi to go back to apartment.  After looking every where in apartment without finding it, we returned to taxi with a photocopy of the passport and original drivers license.  We did not think it would work, but had to head back to airport.  On way to airport, one more search of backpack revealed money bag with passport had slipped inside the inflatable airplane pillow holder.  We had it!

Got to airport in Sofia.  Plane was 1-1/2 hour delayed.  Interpreter kept getting calls from various people about Monika and things started to get confusing.  First we were told that I could check her out of hospital, but take her back to orphanage to rest in familiar place during day then pick her up for good in the evening on way to airport.  Our plane was not supposed to leave until 9 pm.  Next message said she had taken a bad turn, so would stay in hospital until I checked her out in evening.
Another message indicating the pick up may not be possible.  When we landed in Burgas, we went by taxi straight to the hospital.  She was in a neurology ward.  It was not visiting hours, which they enforce strictly.  The neurosurgeon got us past the guards.  When I saw Monika I was shocked at her condition.  She was thin when I saw her in Dec, but  now was skin and bones having not been able to eat for over a week.  She was on IV for fluids and still throwing up with horrible head pain.  Too weak to hold her head up but still trying her best to smile.  It was obvious to me, this would not be a pick up day.  The neuro surgeon came in and said while we were flying Monika had a seizure and cat scan revealed her shunt that was put in as an infant for hydrocephalus was not working and fluid was building up in the brain.  I spent the day with her and her caregivers.  A caregiver had to be with her 24 hours a day.  They were VERY loving to her and it was so good for me to see this and see how well she related to them.  Unfortunately, after a long day I had to return to Sofia without her.  That will be the subject of another blog.  Tuesday morning I received a call saying Monika had to have emergency surgery replacing shunt Monday after I left.

Monika on the Monday that should have been pick up day in the Hospital in Burgas.

Even in her weak state and in pain, she managed a smile for her mama :)

Finally going to pick up the starfish!!

There are so many emotions running high right now.  Monika legally became my daughter and her name was changed to Monika Grace Andrews.  She has a new birth certificate as proof of this change.  It is strange to know I have a daughter a world away and that I cannot pick her up and bring her home immediately.  The good news is, I have finally been given a date.  I will travel (along with my friend

Karen) two weeks from today.  Monika will walk out of the orphanage for good on Monday June 24th.

That is her Uncle Dave's birthday.  An exciting and appropriate "Gotcha Date" since Uncle Dave travelled with me on the first trip to meet her and has been 100% supportive the whole way. 

When I started this journey, I knew one thing.  I felt and still do feel God is calling me to make a difference to the life of an orphan.  I knew for me it was not about sending money or volunteering.  I have done both of those things, this was different.  I felt STRONGLY that this time, I was to bring one home.  In many ways, it makes no sense.  Why would a 50+ year old lady with epilepsy, 3 grown children and not a high income want to start over with another child?  Because I know deep in my heart that I was born for a time like this.  We all are called to a purpose and each of us has to make a decision at some point in our life if we are going to do what it takes to fulfill this purpose.

This has been a journey of extreme highs and lows, and I haven't even really started yet.  The real start date is June 24th.  I am so fortunate to have supportive family and friends that have helped, prayed and encouraged me along the way.  I have had much time for reflection and research.  I am glad I did not know in advance the difficulties I would encounter......I am a "Moses" in personality......do not like conflict and would prefer for someone to just let me know the plan.....the whole plan.  I thought I had it all figured out when I went into this, but do we ever have it all figured out.  I think not.

Friends and family have been so generous.  I feel like Monika has everything she needs.  Clothes, toys, her room, family, friends.  It will be extremely overwhelming to her at first.  For 9 years she only left the orphanage grounds when medical care was needed.  Now the orphanage she was moved into this past November, put her in a smaller and better environment, where she was able to attend school, but still extremely limited experience out of the orphanage.  She has to learn a new language, culture, how to live in a family, how to love, etc.  Because of these huge changes, her time out of the house will be

very limited at first.  We will not be going to church or other large group settings until she is settled in.

Visitors will be limited to a few family members and close friends that want to come one family at time.

I learned SOOO much from the "Empowered to Connect Conference".  The conference was eye opening on how to work with children that have never been in a family and had that experience of closely connecting to another person.  There will be many things I will be working with her on helping to make those connections.  The connections have to be made almost like that of an infant with the mom providing for all needs and creating a relationship where Monika will be totally dependent on me for all needs until we have established a trust where she know I will take care of her.  During this period, it is fine for others to talk to her and interact with her.  But all needs have to be met by me, specifically food/drink needs because that is an area that she has never had anyone totally meet that need for her.  If you want to understand more, google "Empowered to Connect" and listen to some of the videos or read information put out by Karyn Purvis.

Many have asked if there is anything else needed.  Most of what Monika needs when she gets home is already here.  Because of her lack of healthy food, it is recommended I offer her a healthy snack/juice every 2 hours.  Food will be a big practical need when we get home.  Snack crackers, fruits, fruit juice, yogurt, cheese, etc.   

Really the biggest need right now is finances.  All the final fees are due and I had enough to cover that, but because of the delays in paperwork, I am now flying at the most expensive time of year into Bulgaria.  The fees are double what I had to pay for the last trip.  This trip will cost over $5700 not including my Bulgarian country fees, food or some of the in country transportation costs.  I was not expecting this, but I do know that God was and He will provide.  God does not call us without providing what is needed to answer that call, so I am looking forward to seeing how He again shows that He is in control of the whole situation.  

I have gotten a few e-mails from my readers but would LOVE to hear from some of you.  When I hear your thoughts on the blog, it lets me know that I am not writing this for my own information, although it does help me to look back.  I would love to answer any questions or if you are considering adopting, I would love to pray for you.  Please pray for us as we begin this new phase of our journey.  I loved my short term mission trip to Russia.  I will always have fond memories of that special time and am so glad I went.  This is a long term mission trip.  Not an easy road to take, but a life time commitment.

Please pray for Monika's adjustment and my own as I dive back in to parenting.  Pray for wisdom in knowing how to meet her physical, emotional and spiritual needs.  Pray that our communication with each other will grow amazingly fast.  Pray for a strong bond in each of us, as I will have to go through the bonding process with her and she with me.  Pray our time in Bulgaria goes smoothly.

Thank you for loving us enough to pray through easy/good times and difficult times.

Monika received her first package

I received an e-mail stating that Monika received her first package.  I know it seems like a small thing but to me it is big.  Each thing is a positive step in the right direction.  It had a talking toy that said each letter of the alphabet and sound it makes when pressed, a button that had music, and a little game button.  It is a small V-tech toy sort of like a large cell phone.  She loved our cell phones while we were there, so it just seemed like the perfect thing for her.  I also included one outfit and enough bubble gum to share with all her friends.

A call from the FBI

Life is full of surprises and little blessings! I got a call from the FBI today.  I called them last week and ask that they expedite my file so that the Clearance letter on original FBI letterhead would make it in time for court.  They called me today to let me know they located my prints and are processing them now.  They will be in the mail within the next couple of days so will be done in time for court!  Praise God!  So relieved and excited to hear this and so thankful for the FBI worker that took the time out of their busy day to put this mother's heart at ease :)

A new court date has been set

The adoption did not finalize on the last court date.  The judge decided that since the FBI fingerprints were more than 6 months old, she wanted them done again and set a new court date of May13th.  There is some confusion over exactly what is needed.  I sent new FBI prints ordered from state of TN for this court hearing but apparently the judge is rejecting these because they are computer generated results from the state.  Now VESTA the Bulgarian agency in charge of representing me is saying that I can get fingerprints from an FBI Channeler (that normally takes 2 weeks) ......  problem with this is that it will still be a computer generated report and cannot be apostilled.  This is the report I sent to MOJ before my first visit and they rejected it because it was not on original FBI letterhead and could not be apostilled.  After much research and discussion from other parents that have done this before me, it is very unlikely it will be accepted by court.  I am going to do it anyway since that is what I have been asked to do and it is fast.  As a back up plan, I went yesterday and had my ink prints made and overnighted them to the FBI.  I spoke with a lady at the FBI that was very nice and told me that she will expedite these prints for me to try to make the court date (it normally takes from minimum of 4 weeks up to 3 months depending on the backlog).  I decided to take my chances and order them anyway.  Hopefully they will be here by the May 13th date and if not and the other prints are rejected again, at least this process will be well under way.

This whole process is frustrating.  I am only the 2nd family to adopt from Bulgaria through my agency. The agency is great and up front about everything, but their experience is not in Bulgaria, so they are still in the learning process. There seems to be a break down in communication between my American and Bulgarian agency.  This latest delay is totally caused by incorrect communication of what was needed for court and I still do not have clear answers for what is needed for court in May.  I have had the wonderful privilege of being able to communicate with many other families that are in process or have completed their Bulgarian adoptions.  I am depending heavily on what they are telling me, which is why I am going ahead and ordering the prints directly from the FBI.

 I know all this is technical but I am blogging it mainly because this is my way of keeping a diary for myself.

Good news this week is I asked for and received permission and address information to send packages or letters to Monika.  I fully intend to make good use of this.  I found a stuffed rabbit from Hallmark that lets me record a 1 minute message in my voice and a book that lets me record myself reading the story to her.  I will do this to keep in touch with her.  I already love her so much and really want her to know that I am still coming for her.

Thank you so much for all the prayers.  I would love it if you share my blog/ prayer requests with others.  Adoption is not for the faint of heart, there are many ups and downs.  I can go for excitement to the pits all in on day depending on the news (or lack of it) that comes in.

This picture was taken the last day of our visit.  We had just been playing balloons just batting them around and she was so excited to be up and moving.  In her exuberance, she raced over to this balloon sculpture with full intention of pouncing on it.  Dave grabbed her last minute saving the sculpture.  She thought that was hilarious.  I snapped the picture right after the grab where she was still laughing.  So glad I got this shot, it just makes me smile every time I see it.

We have a court date!

Finally we have our court date.  It has been so long in coming.  Normally a court date is assigned within 2 weeks of your MOJ signature.  My paperwork was signed and approved on February 20th giving approval from Ministry of Justice in Bulgaria for the adoption to go through.  At that point it went into waiting for a court date to make everything official.  Well, I finally found out yesterday that
the court date will be April 8th.  SO, excited because this means I will soon be traveling for pick up.  Hopefully 2 or 3 weeks following the court date I will be able to go over and complete the paperwork to bring her home.  It has been  long haul, harder and more emotional than I could ever have imagined.  Once you have decided a child is yours, it is incredibly hard to wait while the paperwork is shuffled from desk to desk for final approval.

Monika will be spending her last Easter in the orphanage!  There will be so many firsts in the year coming up and I can't wait to experience them with her.  Easter is one of the biggest holidays in Bulgaria, mainly rooted in Eastern Orthodox traditions.  Good Friday begins the week of celebration.  Eggs are colored with red being the main color used but other colors are also used and traditional sweet breads are made.  Many take the red eggs and sweet bread to the church to be blessed by the priests then give gifts of the eggs and bread to family and significant friends.  Easter is called the "Great Day". Many greet others by saying "Christ is Risen!" and the other person replies "Christ has risen indeed!"

Here are a couple of pictures of traditionally decorated eggs and sweet bread.  After the eggs are blessed, over the next several days each person bumps their egg against the eggs of others, cracking them.  The person whose egg stays uncracked for the longest amount of time is thought to have good luck in the year to come.  Of course, Bulgarian being a mix of different ethnic groups and beliefs, these traditions do vary by family and region, but this is the most common.  I look forward to incorporating some of these traditions and recipes into our own family celebrations to make unique experiences that will celebrate both cultures.  I am excited that in both cultures, Easter is of great importance and in both Christ's sacrifice and resurrection is the reason for the celebration.

Please continue to pray as we go through the final stages, that there will be no more delays.  Due to the delay in getting my court date, some of my finger prints and doctors recommendation have expired so I will need to get that redone before court.  I just cannot even tell you how ready I am to walk out of those doors with a precious new daughter.  I am also thankful to my kids, family and friends for welcoming this little one into their hearts!

New pictures for Baba Marta Day!

Baba Marta is a holiday celebrated March 1st in Bulgaria.  It is first day of spring.  Red & white bracelets and dolls are given as gifts to friends and family as wishes of good health & fortune.  Baba is grandma in Bulgaria and she comes looking for a spring day the gifts are worn until the first sign of spring arrives then tied to a tree to bring good fortune.  I left a little money when I took my first trip to see Monika and asked that she be given little gifts from me at different times while she awaits my return.  So, in celebration of the holiday they gave her some treats from her new mama :)  and sent me pictures to show her receiving them.  In the 2nd picture you can see the Martenitsa tree to celebrate the holiday.  I am so hoping to be home with Monika in another 3-4 weeks.  Please pray things go quickly and smoothly so this can happen.

I also want to thank you to the ladies who gave me a shower for Monika.  It is so great to know she will be surrounded by loving family at home and church!  I can't wait to have her wear the cute clothes and play with the toys.......it is especially going to be fun watching/ helping her ride her pretty new bicycle.  You all are the greatest!!  Thanks for being such an important part of our journey to become a family.

A couple of videos worth watching

These videos really touched my heart.  I hope you will take the time to listen.  This is what family is all about.

http://vimeo.com/54807069


https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=rztYMMhMT2Y

Fundraising to bring Monika home

I am waiting (not so patiently) to hear our court date.  With all the uncertainty happening in the world of international adoption, I just cannot wait for her to be here with me in our home. Russia was a big issue and it really did make me realize that nothing is final until she is here.  Governments change, laws change, there are good and bad judges that can affect the whole process.  I am trying to be patient, but have to admit that I am feeling rather anxious at this point in the process.  I have heard from enough other adoptive parents to know that others go through these same feelings, but it really does not make it easier.  I DO know that God is in this and controls the governments, judges, etc.  I DO know that I am following His call in this adoption and I even feel confident that she will be here.  I just want it to be over!

I have started 3 fundraisers to try to cover some of the adoption costs.  I have approximately $5000 in outstanding costs remaining.  I have also financed a portion of the adoption costs I have paid at this point.  I was comfortable financing these costs because their was a tax return in the amount of $13,000 that would have paid off all of these costs.  Unfortunately the present administration renewed this tax as a refund rather than return.  Difference between the two is that if my adoption had completed in 2012 the entire $13,000 would be given back to me to reimburse adoption expenses.  The way the law reads now, I will not receive any of this money back.  Sorry to divulge all the gory details, but, I wanted you to understand the real issue.  I will be trying to earn not only the $5000 but pay off some of the adoption debt and have enough to pay for a full dental and medical check up on her arrival at a clinic that specializes in international adoptions.

Monika is only one orphan in a world of millions.  I dream of the day she will realize that she is truly loved.  There are so many orphans out there that will never be given that opportunity. The Bible clearly tells us to take care of the orphans and widows.  This is an area of the church that is failing.  We don't have time to even make ourselves aware of the need and when we do become aware, we are afraid to take action or convinced that the little action we take will not make a big enough difference.  I recently read the blog of a family that was trying to earn money to rescue an orphan by trying to get 2000 people to give $5.  How many of us cannot afford $5.  But that act would give this family $10,000 needed to bring home an orphaned child.  I have read and talked to families that have taken in children that had enormous physical and mental needs.  It is such a scary step of faith.  These families do not "need" another child.  They are not trying to expand their families out of need, they are simply trying to follow the calling on their hearts to help the orphans brought to their attention.  When Monika comes home, my heart will still be breaking for all the children left behind.  It is true that once you see the faces, it is impossible to forget them and their circumstances.  It is also impossible to not feel your heart burst as you read the stories of the lives changed through the love of a family.  I hope that I can continue to advocate on behalf of those still waiting.  If you want to read some of these families stories of life and faith, check out some of the blogs listed on my site.  You will never be the same after you open your eyes and heart to this issue.  If christians would get behind this problem, we could easily provide homes to every orphan in the world.  Not all of us can or even should consider adoption.  But all of us can help in some way, by giving money, donating items, giving words of encouragement, providing respite care (babysitting) for tired families that are taking on the exhausting task of raising these hurting children and most of all by praying not only for the families, but for God's leading in what part you should play in this problem.

Well I will stop and get off the pedestal.  Sorry, sometimes I just need to let loose of all these thoughts, and now that it is past midnight, it is now my birthday.  So maybe you can forgive my birthday diatribe.
Really I need nothing for my birthday.  What I really want is for my little girl to be here ASAP.

If you do want to help out, there are three links on the side of this blog that you can click on.  One link is to buy a T-shirt, a percentage of each purchase will go directly to my adoption costs.  The amazon link is for any purchase you make on Amazon.  If you click my link to go into Amazon when you buy, I will get 10% of the purchase towards adoption costs.  The last link is an organization called Adopt Together.  You can make cash donations into my adoption account.  The donations are tax deductible and will be given to me in the form of a grant.  The grant will allow me to pay both future adoption costs and reimburse those that I have already paid out of my own funds.

God's richest blessings to all of you reading this tonight.  I truly hope that you will feel as richly blessed as I do right now.  I do know that not everyone reading my blog believes the same as I do, I love you anyway, and I have to say what my heart is telling me to say right now.  The biggest story here, is not Monika, but the story of redemption through adoption.  You see, I was orphaned.  Not in a physical sense, I have parents,  but spiritually I was dead.  Jesus paid the price on the cross for my adoption and I belong to His family now.  It is the best thing that ever happened to me.  If any of you reading this blog have not accepted Jesus, I hope through these true life stories your heart will be touched and you will realize that you are missing out on the most important thing in this life and in the life to come.  If you want to message me privately, I would be so blessed to talk to you in more depth.

Sadness in the adoption community

There is so much sadness in the adoption community right now.  With Russia closing it's doors to Americans for adoption, this left many families in limbo.  Many already had matched children and even more had already poured in their hearts, time and money towards an adoption that is now not going to happen.  Just heard yesterday of an American adoption agency closing.  I don't know the details, but I do know that many parents are now hurting and confused wondering if they will be able to bring their kids home.  I really can't imagine their heartbreak.  Please pray for these families! Also, please pray for my adoption proceedings.  This is a wake up call that even when you think everything is going smoothly, things can change in a  moment.  Please pray for no delays and that my little girl will come home soon!

Adoption is expensive.  Going in to this process I knew it would be costly and gathered as much information as possible.  But.....there are many hidden fees and costs that are not told to you ahead of time.  Many of these costs cannot be predicted and every adoption is different.  At this point I am in the final stretch and need about $5000 of outstanding costs to finalize the adoption and bring my girl home.  I have listened to the advice of others that have gone before me in this journey and am going to do a couple of fund raisers to try to raise money for the final costs.  There have been 2 links added to the side of the blog (thank you Rebekah!) that give you the opportunity to help.  One link is to purchase 

T-shirts.  Approximately 40% of all sales go directly into my adoption funds.  The other link is to Amazon.  If you are going to purchase something through Amazon and use this link, 10% of all purchases will go into my adoption fund.  Do to privacy policies on Amazon, I will get a list of items purchased along with the % going in to my account, but they do not release the names of those who made the purchase.  Just letting you know that, so that when I do not acknowledge or thank you, it is because I have no way of knowing who used the link to make the purchase.  I am also in the process of putting up a 3rd link that will give a way to simply make a donation that will be tax deductible.  I'll let you know when that is up and running.  

Thank you so much for all he prayers and kind words.  We are getting so close to the end!

Immigration Approval Received

Immigration approval has been received!  I now have written permission to bring Monika in to the USA as my legally adopted daughter.  Now all the paperwork is going back over to Bulgaria to request a court date so the adoption can be official and finalized.  Praying this process goes quickly.  Would still like to travel in March, but may be looking at April.

Blessings from my Interpreter

I am so fortunate that my interpreter grew up in Burgas and goes back 1 or 2  times every month to stay with her family for the weekend.  I gave her a little money to buy some small goodies and she has agreed to go visit every time she is in town.  She will also take her a chocolate bar or some treat every time she visits and tell her it is from her mama.  So, when my interpreter went to visit her family at Christmas, she went by to say hello.  She said that there was immediate recognition and she was asked where is her mama because I was always with her.  I am so blessed to have this small connection during this wait period.  It is still a long wait (2-3 months is normal) but it helps to know she is getting reminders that her mama loves her while we are waiting for the return trip.

Several of you have asked what I need or what you can pray about so I want to take a moment just to share about this specifically.  I am still unfunded for my final trip to Bulgaria.  I was expecting a tax refund on the adoption that would have paid this off after the fact but it does not appear in our fiscal climate that this refund will be passed.  A tax credit has been renewed which reduces your taxed income, but the refund is actually a refund of funds spent whether you have a tax liability or not.  I am still applying for a couple more grants.  Please pray that these will go through.  Thank you to those who have donated money or items for Monika.  You have no idea how much it means to me.

As for things needed.  I have gotten a few things but there is quite a bit still left to get.  I do not need new of anything, hand-me-downs are great.  I am looking for an infant monitor.  Her bedroom is upstairs and I cannot hear her from my room.  Toddler type toys that teach color, shape, texture, ABC's, numbers.  Anything that would be helpful in home schooling at the pre-k to Kindergarten level.  

The dream list.....things I do NOT have to have but would like to have.  Girls bike with training wheels, I have a Leap Frog Leapster but no games for it,  front porch swing, regular swing (maybe can be hung from tree limb), someone has volunteered to fix up the playhouse in my yard :), covered sand box.

Thank you again for all your support.....prayers and emotional.  I do so appreciate it and I know there will soon be a little girl who appreciates it too!

Bulgarian Food

OK, so this may seem a little strange but the food was awesome!  Yes we took pictures to prove it!  The food was very reasonable.  We paid less for these meals than you would for a lot of fast food meals here.  We were blown away by the presentation.  The food is like a work of art.  Even at very small inexpensive restaurants they take great pride in the presentation of the food.  Water was available everywhere for reasonable prices.  Soda was available, but small glasses with no refills.....that was a little tough for the coke a holic in me :)

Schnitzel with garlic bread

More Schnitzel...my brothers favorite meal

Banana chocolate pizza

Chicken over broccoli with cheese sauce

Roasted duck with potatoes

Roasted pork with cabbage & potatoes

Chopska Cucumber/Tomato salad

Spinach roll filled with cream cheese/tomato

They have great cheese dishes and there was pizza on the menu at every restaurant.  Most everyone spoke some English and English menus were available at every place we went.  The meals are a time to chat and are leisurely rather than rushed.

Scenery from Bulgaria Trip#1

 We had a nice 2 bedroom apartment with good wifi connection.  A park was near the apartment and on the other side of the park was Sofia City Center Mall.  The mall was very nice and decorated for Christmas.  It was interesting to hear all the American Christmas Carols playing over the speakers.  We also saw many American made products imported....that was a nice surprise!  More American imports than China...

 

We left the mall around 5:30 and were surprised to find it was totally dark outside and snowing.

This is the view from our 6th floor apartment window in Sofia.

View to right from hotel balcony window in Burgas.  In the background you can see cranes that are used to lift crates from ships.  Burgas is a major shipping port for Bulgaria.

View to left from hotel balcony window.  The fancy building in back is an upscale hotel.  The orphanage is directly across the street on the right side of that hotel.

My brother David was my travelling partner on this trip.  He is standing in front of the Black Sea.  It was a few blocks walk from our Burgas hotel.

Buildings in the walking mall area near our hotel.

The orphanage.

Grassy whale sculptures on sidewalk in walking mall area.

Huge church in walking mall area of Burgas

Jewish Museum in walking mall area.

View from plane window as we are flying out of Sofia at sunrise.

Her sweet face

We had new crafts or activities that we did together each morning and afternoon.  It was good seeing what she likes and does not like.  That will help on the trip home....so far stickers, puzzles, stringing beads and all things girly were a hit.  Writing and coloring not so interested.

I brought a bag of hair bows.  She put every single bow in her hair and admired herself in the mirror.

She loved the lip gloss and little compact mirror that changes to a brush

The director let her take me upstairs to see her bedroom.  It had two sets of bunk beds and appeared that only the bottom bunk was used in each bed because there was no ladder attached to get to the top bunk.  This is a huge building with only 15 kids, so it looks like only 2 share the room.  The room also had a small closet and a couple of desks.

This is the last day.  She is wearing the size 8 pants I bought.  (She is 9) The pants were really pretty huge on her.  About 6 inches of length was tucked up inside at the bottom and they would only stay up after they gave her a belt to hold them up.  The soft furry blanket is a gift I left behind and the director told me she would have on her bed to sleep with at night.  My friend Martha embroidered her name on the corner of the blanket both in Bulgarian and English.

I just love this little girl and can't wait to go back and pick her up!  I am praying for a March pick up date, that would require all the paperwork going through smoothly with no hitches.  Please pray that this happens.