Two weeks of "firsts"

Monika left orphan life exactly 2 weeks ago today. Every day is new and exciting and sometimes a bit scary.  She changed tremendously from the time I saw her in December 2012 to our pick up date of June 28, 2013.  In the "baby house" her communication was limited due in part to being with all younger kids.  Her conversational language has exploded.  She has no problem saying what she wants/ needs/ likes/ dislikes......the bigger problem is mama understanding what she is saying.  She is a pretty happy kid and will try anything once.

On pick up day, she had a new experience of leaving behind the familiar orphanage surroundings and people and going into the unknown.  It was very scary for her and she clung to me for comfort.  She also saw pigeons on the sidewalks and was pretty freaked out that they would come after her.  She is so brave.  It really just took some calm talking a hugs to get her past these new experiences.  She really can be quite a little character, laughing at herself as well as anyone or anything else she finds amusing.
In restaurants in Bulgaria she talked confidently with waiters in Bulgarian and they all laughed at the things she would divulge to them.  We had no way of knowing if this was a good or bad thing. but we were happy that she was happy.  In the orphanage, she was still taking a nap every afternoon.  Since I was sharing a bed with her in the apartment, I would lay down with her and she would reach over and hold my hand and put her forehead against mine to fall asleep each time.  She slept really well.  Now that we are back in America we are trying to find out what works for us here.  She is having a harder time sleeping and staying asleep in this new environment.

It was obvious in Bulgaria that she had a pretty strong fear of all animals.  In my house there are 2 dogs, a cat and a parrot.  That was a pretty much what we had to concentrate on the first couple of days.  Since my service dog is by my side 24/7, she had to adjust.  She has come a long way and will pet him without prompting now.  However, she is very upset if her touches her with his nose or licks her.  They are both learning to adjust.  Rex is great and is going at her pace.

First trip to mall in Bulgaria there was the mechanical car that kids sit in and the car moves when you put in a coin.  She sat in the car and loved it, but them when we put the coin in, her first reaction was panic, then once she realized it was not going to take her anywhere, she laughed hysterically.  It was so much fun to her!

Many new foods to try.  She is a wonderful eater, preferring veggies, legumes & salad over most other foods.  She loves Shopska salad (cucumbers, onion and tomatoes), not crazy about bread but will eat it.  She refused olives, fruit smoothy and choc cake after first trying them.  She fits right in here at our little farm as she will eat everything we grow.

Favorite time of day is definitely eating followed by taking a shower.  She asks every day if she will be able to take a shower today......this cracks me up!

She is SOOOOO affectionate.  Hugging and kissing me all day long.  Smiling at me constantly.  She does show affection to others also, but does seem to have some boundaries in the levels of affection she shows to others.  She fell in love with Grandma at first sight and is very comfortable around her and grandpa.

She is a home body.  I have only taken her out a few times.....to Dr Office, to Grandma's house, to pick up my meds, and SS office.  She definitely is nervous and overstimulated going out.  So for now, we are trying to keep things simple, until she is used to her environment.

Well,she is kissing me and wanting attention now, so guess that is it for this writing.

Near our apartment in a restaurant with traditional Bulgarian food and dancers.

In the apartment trying on glow in the dark glasses.

In the apartment wearing another outfit from her big sister.

On the plane (before the big freak out moment when the engines came on)

Charlotte NC, a new American Citizen on July 4th, 2013 !!

Emergency Surgery and the week in Sofia

Leaving the hospital in Burgas and returning to Sofia is one of the hardest things I have ever done. There were valid reasons that I had to do this, but it felt so wrong leaving her.  The hospital is not like what I am used to here.  It had no A/C and very little nursing staff.  The orphanage director took it upon herself to pay orphanage staff workers to be by Monika's side 24/7.  The room was pretty bare.  There were no chairs for staff or visitors, so the staff workers had to stand the entire shift next to her bed trying to do whatever it took to make her comfortable.  They fanned her with paper to cool her off, talked softly to her and rubbed or patted her back.  They were incredibly patient and loving to her.  I did feel like they would be there for her as I returned to Sofia.

I did not know when I left Monday that around an hour after I left, she would face a life threatening seizure.  She went into seizure due to the pressure of the fluid in the brain and did not come out of the seizure, so they put her under anesthesia and made the decision to do emergency shunt replacement.  I was told that the surgeon and his fast acting saved her life that night.

I was told that I would need to stay in Sofia rather than return to Burgas.  Partly because Monika was in ICU and could have no visitors, and partly because my presence was making her to excited/nervous and she was not resting well with me there.  We were able to see a few sights in Sofia that week.  I was not really in the mood for sight seeing when I knew my little girl was sick in the hospital, but also knew that staying in the apartment 24/7 was not a good thing.  I do have to say, the food in Bulgaria is the best food I have experienced anywhere and was very fresh.  The salads were great, the cheese saurces were to die for.  I want to try to replicate some of these recipes when things calm down a little.

So, I spent the rest of the week in Sofia with daily updates of Monika's progress.  The shunt replacement was a success and she was recovering well.  On Wednesday evening, I received word that the neurosurgeon said I could check her out of the hospital on Friday.  Friday morning, we had to leave at 4:30AM in order to get to Burgas in time for check out. When we got there, it was so shocking to see Monika skip down the hallway to give me hugs and kisses.  I would never have dreamed she could make such a quick recovery and am so thankful to those who prayed for this to happen.  I had a meeting with the neurosurgeon and interpreter, explaining the surgery and what precautions I should take.  She basically could eat anything she wanted, just better to stay out of the sun to keep from being overheated and do calm indoor activities until we had clearance from her US doctor.  I also met at the hospital with the orphanage director to sign over all necessary custody papers.

Mrs Vitanova (orphanage director) & "Kilinka" with Monika checking out of hospital.  These two women showed extraordinary love and care for my little girl when she could not take care of herself.  The hospital was a harsh environment.  No A/C and no modern devices or machines hooked up to show a patient needed help.  They literally stood by Monika's side (there were no chairs) in that hot room and fanned her to try to keep her cool and comfortable.  One of the hospital workers was really rude to them, seems like she thought an orphan wasn't worth the effort and their being there was making her go to extra effort in her care.  I will always be thankful for these women.  There was no money in the budget to hire a private nurse and with no family, Monika would have been left alone in a bed and would not have survived the ordeal.

Karen (left) Monika & I (right) saying goodbye to the orphanage workers that came to say good bye to Monika.  They each had a small gift for Monika.  They also let her leave in the orphanage clothes and shoes she was dressed in that morning and packed a bag with several outfits a chocolate fruit cake and bananas for her to snack on.  They cried as we drove off.  I truly think they cared for Monika and will miss her, but were also happy she had a family now.

Kids from the orphanage had requested to come say good bye to Monika, but it was decided that would be too much emotional excitement for her to handle.  The director and 3 of the orphanage staff came to see her off.  They each gave her a gift.  She got a shirt and hat that said Burgas, a talking book, Bulgarian magnets, homemade chocolate/orange cake, large milka candy bar.  They also sent her with 3 outfits and a pair of shoes.  All the gifts I had left on the previous trip along with those I mailed to her, were all packed for her to take home.  It was so obvious the staff loved her and cared for her.  They were all crying as we said our good byes. Karen and I cried too.  Monika seemed confused by all the commotion.

Our driver/ interpreter was great with Monika.  He explained that if she felt sick or strange at any time, to let him know and he would pull the car over.  That happened 3 times in the first 30 minutes.  The last time she just cried her heart out, wanting to know if she would ever again see her friends.  She was so frightened of what lay ahead and the fear was just overtaking her.  I asked if she could sit in my lap, she jumped at that chance and just clung to my neck like she would never let go.  Her whole body was shaking in fear but she stopped crying.  3 hours into the trip, she finally fell asleep.  We had to go straight to the Bulgarian police immigration office on Friday when we arrived in Sofia for her to get her Bulgarian passport.  On the way into the office there was  a pigeon on the side walk, she was very afraid of the birds.  It seemed she had never seen one before.  Other than that, all went smoothly and we got back to the apartment to spend our first evening and night together as family.

Picture of Monika and I in the car on the way to Sofia on Gotcha Day.

Self portrait taken by Monika when she was playing with my iPhone at a gas stop on the way to Sofia on Gotcha Day.

Picture of Monika coloring in our apartment in Sofia.  This shows how her head was shaved for her emergency surgery.  They ended up not cutting the head.  She had two surgical incisions, one on her neck and the other on her stomach.

Saturday and Sunday were just days to relax and get to know each other.  Monday was the day for the

doctor check up required for her American VISA.  That went well.  Tuesday we had our "interview" with the Embassy.  We were able to get tickets to fly to USA on July 4th.  Monika would become an American Citizen on the day we celebrate American freedom and Independence.