She turned 9 today

Well, the day it has been a long day with lots of reflection.  Today a little girl spent her 9th birthday in a row in the orphanage.  The same place she has been since birth.  Why is she there?  Why overlooked time and time again.  I don't know these answers but do know I am looking forward to her being my daughter and in her own home when she has her next birthday.  I have heard the waiting time is the worst part of adoption.  I would have to agree.  I know there are so many things I should be doing, but I am having such a hard time moving on and doing those last details.  I finally met someone on line that is adopting from the same city and Monika.  That family has already made their first trip and are awaiting their second trip.  Perhaps they have even seen my girl.  It is at least exciting to be able to have conversation with someone that has traveled before me and can give me some information about the city and their experience with the orphanage there.

How can you miss someone you have never met?  I don't know, but I do.  I feel like she is already mine in my heart and all this other stuff is just government having to do the legal stuff.  She has no idea her life is about to change and that there is a mommy out here that already loves her.  To her this birthday was no different than any other in her life.  To me, it is similar to pregnancy when you know that little one is there and you just can't wait to meet them and to go on to your "new normal".

I am thankful that God chose to give me 3 healthy kids.  I am thankful that He is leading me in my adventure of finding another little girl.  A little sister for my two sons and daughter.  Even though they are grown and out of the house, I know they will love her and she them.  I am thankful that Monika has a grandma that already has her beautiful handmade Christmas stocking ready to hang.  I wish she could be here this year to see that stocking but it is not looking too good for that, at least we will hopefully have many future birthday, Christmases and holidays together.

I have shopped and gotten some toys/activities to do in the orphanage for the week I am visiting.  Also got a couple of outfits to try on her on the first trip, so that I will know what size to bring when I go back to pick her up.  So thankful to my friend that has two little girls and has given me a good start in gently used cute clothes.  I remember when I was pregnant holding up all these little clothes and wondering what my baby would look like in them.  Guess what.......I still held up each outfit and smiled wondering how she was going to look wearing it.

I have so many good memories of my kids as young children.  Monika's memories will all start at the age of 9 with me.  I hope the orphanage staff can pass on some information and pictures from her younger years.

I have been looking at all things Bulgarian.   I want her to be proud of her heritage as much as she is proud of her new country.  They will both be a part of who she is.  I have been looking at recipes and traditions that can be woven into our daily lives to keep her heritage real  to her..

Big sister has been shopping for her little sister!  She is getting excited and has picked up some things.  I cannot believe I got rid of all my kids books!  Guess I really did not think I would be going down this path again, but I am so excited about this direction and the future.  I am sure that everything she needs will be provided one way or another.

I will be establishing some kind of a link for anyone who is interested in helping to bring this little girl home.  Foreign adoption is not for the feint of heart.  Even when you think you have the finances and details covered, things change.  A lot of money I had for the adoption ended up going into extensive emergency dental work and some other unexpected but unavoidable expenses.  I will be adding the link when I find out how to do that.  Any donations can be tax deductible if made out in a specific way to my adoption agency.  I may also be having a couple of fund raisers to get past these last few expenses.

Thank you to the adoptive parents that have gone before me and blogged their experiences.  I could not have asked for a greater wealth of knowledge from people who have adopted.  I read your blogs and feel like I am living each moment with you.......tears and fits of laughter.  I cannot contain my enthusiasm and have a hard time talking about anything other than adoption.  I am glad I have patient family and friends willing to listen and go through this experience with.  I may be a single mom, but, I am not alone!

Happy Birthday little Monika!  Mommy is coming soon!

Almost there.......waiting for my travel date

Well, finally my dossier is in Bulgaria.  I was told Friday that they were asking for 1 additional document.  I won't go into the details, but it basically took me from 10AM to 4:30PM to get 1 piece of paper.  The good news is that I was able to get it and send it off.  My case should be at the next MOJ meeting which means it is possible I could find out my travel dates this week!  So excited that things are moving.

I went on a shopping trip this week to buy a couple of small activities to do with Monika on my week long visit.  I also have a size 6 and 7 outfit to try on her while I am there, so that I can determine what size clothes I will need to taker for her on the return trip.  I am excited and nervous, I know leaving her is going to be soooo hard, but I am so ready to meet her and get to know her.  Thanks for all the prayers!